“So sorry.”I stop, still calling for her, when a Butterfly turns and flies down to me. “Mayu?” I reach out my hand towards her, and her wings gently brush against my fingertips. Then she turns with the others and leaves. That is the good-bye I get. I’ll never see my sister again.I fall to my knees and cry like a lost child as the sun comes and breaks through the eternal night of All God’s Village.***The water is perfect as I sit silently on the bench staring blankly at the sunset. Its sparkles off the water, looking beautiful as the rays gently dance on the surface. Birds are flying overhead, whistling their gentle tune. The air is warm, and there is a gentle breeze and it blows my hair lazily. People are walking by, jogging, walking their dogs and fishing. A perfect afternoon. I’m not really seeing any of it though. Mayu, lying cold and still is all I see now, when I eat, when I sleep. Every night I dream of her, every night I see my sins, I see my sister dying by my own hands, what. I’m thirty five, Jack. I have done the dating scene, and the superficial men there, are not what I want. I want a man who recognises me as a person, a man who makes me feel warm and cared for. I would not want to go back to dross, when I have the real thing in my life.’ I heard her words and wanted so much to believe her. Yet my logic was telling me that loneliness and hurt were awaiting me after a year or two. I got up, and reached for my jacket. ‘I’m sorry Ally. Very sorry. I believe that you believe what you are telling me, but I am the one who is fearful of the hurt that will inevitably happen. Call it self-preservation if you will, but I have to go with my instincts. Don’t think bad of me, please.’ I drove slowly, and yes if you ask I did shed a tear. Who wouldn’t? Back home I poured myself a glass of Bushmills malt whiskey. If ever there was a night that needed a drink, this was it. The ten year old malt warmed inside, as someone once said ‘Like Angels dancing on your tongue’,.
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